I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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