i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize