Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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