I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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