we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
