I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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