All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
