My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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