hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I fill condoms, not promises.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i believe in u and ur pee
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize