Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
