I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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