i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
