Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
