Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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