Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
