We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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