She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
