He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
