if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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