he wants to bone in the snuggie
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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