Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
