i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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