I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
