What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
