You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
