the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
