Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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