There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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