So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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