i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
