I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
