Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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