There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
