Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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