sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
