ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
