Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
