this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I still have a little drunk in my system
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
