His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
