I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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