I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
