I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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