My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize