Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
