Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
