Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
