SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
