im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
