best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
