didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
