Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just high enough for therapy.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
