that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The air was thick with penises
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
