dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
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similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
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We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
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