I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
