Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
