Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
