What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
